Getting lost in the hurt

The year is 2018, it has been a year since she left you and you are busy still sulking over it. She has moved on and you know it because you are busy stalking her every move. You know when they started dating, probably know the guy’s name, his birth date, his exes; everything about him. She goes out way more than she did when she was with you and even posts pictures of him more than she did with yours. She seems genuinely happy and this tears you apart. You haven’t been with anyone else besides her since she left. You kept on wondering where you went wrong. Is it you who is wrong and undeserving of love or have you just been unlucky in love. You keep wondering when will you catch your lucky break but there doesn’t seem to be any silver lining. All you feel is hate for the other gender; matter of fact hate for humanity as a whole. Your depression has skyrocketed to a new high which definitely is not a good thing. A couple of times within the twelve months since she left you have contemplated on committing suicide and nearly did it twice if it wasn’t for your cowardice. You are definitely not happy. Your skin radiates your unhappiness more than any other body part no wonder why your face is looking more wrinkled than ever. You look like you haven’t had a proper bath or sleep in ages. Everyone has decided to keep a good distant from you because your attitude has deteriorated. The last girl who came in close proximity with you ended up being called a ‘conniving c**t with no respect for mourning’ and all she wanted to know was if you wanted to have a decent cup of coffee since she last saw you 6 years back. Your family has noticed your change of behavior. You do not talk to anyone anymore. All you do is sit around all day feeling sorry for yourself and stalking her every move.

Is it 2018? No. It is still 2017.
That was how your life was going to be in twelve months if you continued crying over your lost spouse. Most, if not all, of those were going to occur. Now the big question is: DO YOU WANT THAT TO BE YOUR LIFE IN A YEAR?
Trust me, I get it. It is hard right? Right now it feels like you will never find anyone who is as beautiful as her, or who you loved like her, or who you can trust again. You feel like you would never be able to allow yourself to fall in love. Truth be told, it is possible you might not love again and might never trust someone whole heartedly like that again but the possibility of you never dating again to you dating again is a good 2 is to 54 if you are below the age of 30 when this happened. It eventually gets better. A lot of people have gone through what you are going through right now. Some of those people are those ‘couple goals’ you are busy looking up to. Not everyone is fortunate to find love with their first love which they end up marrying. Usually people mess up, find other people, fall out of love, lose themselves, go to the edge of insanity, but then they bounce back. So…
Letting go of the one you loved and moving on is not the easiest thing to do. It’s easier for some people but not all so yeah it is pretty hard, so don’t worry if you keep breaking down along the way. At times people have relapses during their road to recovery so one little setback, either thinking about her, crying over her or just feeling saddened by the fact that she is gone, should be an opportunity for you to let her go. Like the saying goes,
‘every setback is an opportunity for a comeback.’
Just think about moving on. That is the way to go. Think about finally forgetting about her, letting go, no more feeling anything. Think about how good that would be. Very good right? Yes. So now that you have set your goal of where you want to head you should be working towards achieving it and moving on.
Think about this different scenario to the first one.
The year is 2018 and you are happier. It has been a year since your previous girlfriend left you. Seeing her for the first time in 8 months last week did not mean anything. You did not feel anything. You genuinely meant it when you said, ‘I am great,’ to her. You have a new girl now. She is a young French young lady, with the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen. You met her two months after that break up in a cooking class which you had just started. You have been together for 6 months officially now and are moving in together this weekend. She makes you happy. Your friends say they have never seen you this happy in your life. Everyone around you feels like you are radiating positivity and you can feel it too. Your writing career is awesome now. You have an internship at The Sun and seem to be getting a permanent position too. Everything is perfect.

Now think about the two scenarios. Which one do you want to be your story a year after your heartbreak? The choice is yours. Now make it.

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