Memories on worn benches

Searching for a happy place was becoming harder and harder especially after i let him in on my last one. I usually never allow people to see my hideout in case they end up messing up and i didn’t need the place to be a reminder of them or the time we spent together but this time i let my guard down because he was cute and i was a fool.
“Stupid Bon!”
I had even forgot that i was on a bus and i guess my thought came out louder than it should’ve because the woman besides me asked what i said and i had to shrug it off as if i was singing a lyric too loud. Truth was that the headset in my ears played nothing but the silence in my head. I was sure that she did not believe me also because only a fool would have bought that lie i was selling. Right now i was stuck on a bus going ‘Lord knows where’ and i was not even sure if i wanted to get out at all. Maybe if i rode it until the very end, it will take me very far away where i would not have to face him or anyone from school tomorrow. I was not trying to hide away from my problems, just trying to find a place where i could calm my thoughts long enough for me to get a hold of a plausible solution. Unfortunately for me, this bus was not going to cut it as my place to rest my head and thoughts so i decided that at the next stop i shall get off and walk this off.

My last hideout place was right behind the park on 5th Street. Behind the ever full park was a pair of dusty, old chairs which no one ever used. The chairs were hidden by a couple of bushes and were hard to find unless you were really looking for them. It was the ideal place for thinking or being alone. Whenever i felt like my thoughts were taking control of me, i would go there with headsets, a cigarette and just listen to music while thinking in the clouds. The only mistake i made during our time together was showing him that place at all because the inevitable eventually happened. Me showing him the benches just happened really. He had came knocking on my front door at a very peculiar time. He wanted to spend time with me but my mother was about to come at any moment so i could not risk her finding a boy in the house. I panicked and before i knew it we were on those benches making out like crazy. I cannot go back there, not now that is. It is too soon. It had been exactly 13 hours since i found out what he did at that one party i did not attend with him this month and going back there would not stop these tears from rolling down my cheeks and i had to stop them fast. My mom was about to start getting worried so i had to stop crying fast so that my face, at least eyes won’t be puffy when i got home.

The one thing i was glad about when i got off the bus was that it was dark which meant i would not be running into anyone i know and i could cry away the entire time without worrying of anyone noticing. I pulled up my hoodie, put on my headsets properly and this time actually played music so as to try to block the thoughts out. My songs were always on shuffle and the one thing my smartphone was actually smart about was putting the perfect first song every single time i pressed play. Even this time it did not disappoint even though the song it played i should have changed the moment it played but it was exactly what i would have chosen in such a mood. The song that it played was The Night We Met by Lord Huron and as soon as the first beat hit, i knew what was going to happen the next 4 to 5 minutes. It began…

Meeting Aaron for a date the first time happened after months of endless chasing and denials. He was so goofy the first time we met with his baggy jeans and over sized hoodie. He was the new kid and i was forced to show him the ropes the first few days. He had an annoying aura about him, always asking me out and acting so cocky each time he walked and talked around school. He had been trying to ask me out on a date for the longest and finally i gave in to his continuous pestering. The moment i gave in, it was after a gym lesson and he was there at the door waiting for me. I had noticed him there about 5 minutes before the end of the lesson but pretended like i did not see him at all even the moment when i was passing by the door.
“Don’t act like you did not see me Ms Oestin,” he said and i immediately blushed. I rolled my eyes at him and rudely asked him what he wanted and he said, “8 o’clock be by Notting palace and i swear it will be the best 15 minutes of your life,” and he left. I laughed so hard at that moment because i took a nasty taking towards it and thought was humored by his pathetic way of approaching me this time. Anyway, i rendezvoused with him as planned and he did not disappoint at all. For 15 minutes he managed to sweep me off of my feet and when the buzzer he was holding beeped to signal that 15 minutes elapsed, he abruptly left with just a bye. That was the beginning of our six month intense relationship. It never felt like six months, more like six years but i guess that was because we spent each day together because of the summer vacation.

I should have never showed up, maybe i would not be crying like i am right now walking past Notting palace at 7 in the evening all heartbroken but at that time i needed to see what he can do in 15 minutes. Anyway, right now it felt easier not to think about what exactly we did in those 15 minutes because i would break down right in front of this candy machine. Just as i was about to start reminiscing about the 15 minute date and the 6 months we were together, the music went silent with my pocket vibrating. It was my phone, ringing. I took it out and i saw this:

15 missed calls. 10 from Aaron and 5 from mom. MOM CALLING, SLIDE TO ANSWER.


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