kitchen counter note

Cold winter nights like today’s are the reason why people prefer the scorching sun over the beautiful snow. With temperatures hitting below freezing point, it is a wonder to him why other people really enjoy winter. Right now his biggest problem wasn’t the cold winter even nor the dogs howling outside nor his cat constantly scratching his bedroom door trying to get in as there was an issue on his mind accounting for his latest episode of insomnia. Today marked two days since she left him with nothing but a cheesy kitchen counter note saying: ‘I cannot do this. You’re moving faster than I am.’ The note did explain a lot, given that a few days ago was their sixth month anniversary and things really did not go as expected. After planning a romantic night out, it took an unexpected twist of tales as she ended up walking out mid-dinner crying with no explaination whatsoever. Now, he was in his bed at three in the morning, with nothing but a wonder of what he could have done better or what he should not have done.

“Was it my fault that I fell for her and she wasn’t ready to commit? Hey Romeo?” He said to his cat Romeo which he finally succumbed to and let into his room after hours of door scratching and meowing. Nothing had been able to help him sleep during the night, which meant that he could not go to work at all that day but at least it was the weekend now and he had an excuse to stay home, inside the blanket without feeling guilty in anyway.

The time had now hit seven and he was still there stirring at the pale blue ceiling of his bedroom. His alarm went off, startling him a bit as it signalled the beginning of a day. “What’s the use to even get up?” He said this talking to his ringing alarm clock as if it was his psychologist and slowly breaking into tears after realising that he was beginning to lose his mind. He needed to go out and get his head out of the clouds. The problem was that whenever he laid in bed, the only thing he could think of was the dinner which had gone wrong. They had been talking about doing something for their sixth month anniversary for about a week but he should have guessed that she wasn’t feeling it. He kept on thinking that she probably was out of place either because of her menses or someone upset her at work. The day of the dinner, she avoided him at all cost, even leaving for work so early that he did not get to wish her a happy anniversary. Maybe he was a bit too much with the flowers he sent to work and the roses he left in her car but to him it was a genuine attempt at being romantic. After all, it was valentines right now also so a little ‘too much’ romance did not seem harmful.

The case remains that now he was all alone with no one to run to and sitting around being sad was not going to help him at all. It took him an entire two days, forty-eight hours, for him to convince himself to take a shower. Standing in the middle of the shower as the water ran down his face, his life with her seemed to flash back even more with every single drop of water which hit his unshaven face. It wasn’t long before the tears began to roll down his face as well but before he could endure the tentalizing moment, a knock on the door disturbed his entire rythm. “I’m coming!” he shouted from the bathroom as he was putting his robe on drying his hair and eyes with his towel as he approached the door. Upon opening the door, it was the face he dreaded to see but still hoped for an explaination from. After all the wondering and persistent nightmares of him dying all alone, she stood right before him. He was perplexed. It was like the moment when you wait to see your childhood hero for so long that the time you actually see them, the anticipation has bubbled over and you feel nothing at all. He still loved the girl who stood on his doorstep but at this moment, he felt nothing for her.

After leaving him without the decency of doing it to his face, he had called her over a dozen times and left numerous voice messages for the first 24 hours. It was until her mailbox was actually full that he saw the patheticness in his own voice that he ended up quitting on trying. Instead he resorted to sleeping all day and watching Dirty Dancing with a tub of ice cream in his hands like the cliche old chick flick. Here she stood before him in her pink blouse with her ever radiant brown skin glowing from under. Her face look a bit of a mess but then again it was wet from all the rain that was still falling onto her head as she stood there waiting for him to let him into his apartment. ‘Do I let her in? Do I really want to hear what she has to say?’ This all ran through his mind the few seconds as he stared at her blanklessly without a word actually leaving his mouth.

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